5 Steps to Being an Online A$$ : A HOW TO GUIDE

I've been wanting to write a post titled How To NOT Be An @$$h0!e On Social Media for quite some time... but the fact that I'd be opening myself up to a beating by those who I wanted to help has stopped me from moving forward.

Today I decided if I can't beat them (sorry, I just can't) I'd try to help you join them.
Now for many of you this might be impossible- that's ok, if you can't beat them or join them you can go with option #3 which is pretty easy- AVOID THEM.  That's all the guidance I have for you underachievers.

But for those of you who don't want to stick your head in the sand please follow these simple steps on how to insult, demean and attack others online from the safety of your own home.


Step 1)  STAY SAFE,STAY HOME! This is the most important of ALL the steps...DO NOT try this if you are not hiding behind your computer. You can only reach your full @$$  potential if no one can reach you... or throw things at you.

Step 2)  ASSUME YOU ARE ALWAYS RIGHT. If you are an @$$ in real life it will make this transition much easier. Do not allow facts, feelings or others life experiences get in the way of what you have already decided it true.

Step 3)  FOCUS ON THE NEGATIVE. If positive thoughts or influences start creeping in you must run. Happy people have a hard time being @$$holes.

Step 4)  FIND POWER IN NUMBERS.  Picture the hyenas in The Lion King  (if Disney movies aren't your thing, really any kind of carnivorous animal that attacks in groups should work) If you come across a person with an opinion that is different from yours try to rally others to attack with you, this greatly increases your odds of silencing your victim.

Step 5)  THROW THE IDEA OF RESPECTING OTHERS OUT THE WINDOW. Whoever told you to be respectful was not talking about the internet...easy mistake, don't feel bad if you didn't know this.


Please know this is only the beginner lesson. Check back once you master these steps and are ready to advance your skills. If you are already at expert level I welcome tips and suggestions for future lessons.

~PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT~

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